Saturday, 1 March 2014

How To Kiss Girls Easily And Avoid 3 Signature Rejections

“To Kiss Or Not To Kiss, That Is The Question” – Every Man On Earth

You get more signals on dates than you do from a traffic light tree on crack. Problem is, you often misinterpret them. There is no time this applies more than when you’re trying to figure out the perfect moment to go in for the first kiss. Unfortunately, there is no single golden rule to follow, even though there are lots of kissing tips around. You’re just expected to ‘know’ when the time is right.

This is beyond stupid. You have absolutely no idea when the time is right. It’s more a case of playing Russian Roulette with your pride on the line and scaling that giant wall more commonly known as the fear of rejection. Sometimes it works. But when it doesn't, and your kissing tips fail you, your brave lip lunge of doom is met by a well-timed rejection.

You've probably experienced at least one of these signature moves:

1. The Cheek

A classic that has plagued the ego's of men for eons. The execution and precise timing for the turning of the head, only becomes more refined with age.

2. The Cobra

Not quite as popular as 'The Cheek', but still in play. Often used to dazzle men by displaying a surprising level of neck and back flexibility.

3. The Hand

Reserved only for special occasions. Common causes include unbelievably bad breath, desert-like dry lips, and a complete misreading of the situation.

How can we bring an end to this consistent serving of embarrassment? No man wishes to forever dwell in the suffocating halls of uncertainty. Put all your kissing tips side. The answer is simple. Before you go in for the kiss, you ask.

Now hold on a minute, by ask surely you don’t mean to say the actual words. Of course not. That would be ridiculous and most likely ruin whatever illusion of a perfect moment you have created. You would use a signal. No words necessary. But what signal could you use?

The Eyebrow

Brought to fame by the legendary Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. This killer move is the future. Bye bye uncertainty, farewell rejection, hello Kiss City.

Clearly, somethings would have to be done to make this a universal sign for "Can I Kiss You". But, imagine it. The date is going well. The only thing left now is to seal the deal. But when should you go for it? You're not quite sure. She turns, squeezes your hand, or does some other apparent sign for a kiss. But you want to be certain, you've been here before. So just to make sure, you use 'The Eyebrow'. She smiles. You're in!

Don't you think everyone's lives would be so much easier if such a sign existed? For men and women alike? I believe it's written somewhere famous, "Ask and you shall receive."

 Do you agree?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.